But the Joke Was On Me
by saber007
Summary: Lucia Jay Quinn. A daughter, a friend, a criminal, a lover, a princess. She was many different things to many different people. Her spirit will live on in our memories. May she rest in peace. (Companion fic to I Started a Joke).
1. Chapter 1

Hello readers. In case you didn't catch it on my other story, this fanfic is a companion story to I Started a Joke. This story will detail the events of Lucy's life from other character's perspectives. By popular request I began the first chapter with Harley. Hope you enjoy this new experiment.

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Harley Quinn

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"No, no, no. They can't be dead. They can't." I choked back tears as I repeated my new mantra over and over in my head.

They're not dead. Mistah J and Lucy are alive.

"My Puddin and Puddin Pop can survive anything." I reassured myself, pushing my hair out of my face and standing up. Slowly, I walked away from the ledge where I saw the helicopter go down.

They're not dead. Mistah J and Lucy are alive. I gotta find them. This is just an elaborate game of hide and seek. Puddin and Puddin Pop are just hiding and its my job to seek them out. Those two are such children. They love playing games, it's adorable.

"Like father, like daughter, I guess." I giggled and pushed the button for the elevator. The machine dinged and opened. I skipped inside and hit the button for the ground floor. When the doors shut I caught a glimpse of my reflection. My makeup is smudged all over and my hair is tangled. I look a mess.

"You're a mess because you just lost your boyfriend and daughter, Harley." A familiar voice whispered. I saw my reflection replaced with a blonde doctor wearing thick glasses and her Arkham Asylum badge displayed on her lab coat. "You're in the process of grieving."

"Shut up you quack! My Mistah J and Lucy are alive!" I shouted at Dr. Harleen Quinzel.

Harleen shook her head. "You're in the denial stage of your grief, Harley. Denying reality will not make the pain go away. It only makes it worse." Harleen gently smiled. I snarled and smashed the button for the next floor.

"I said shut up, Harleen! I don't need you psychoanalyzing me. And I definitely don't need your pity." I kicked at the elevator door, hoping to rid myself of Harleen's nonsense. I don't want to hear her complaints or disappointments about my life choices.

"I don't pity you. I feel your sadness too. My heart's just as broken. I lost Joker and Lucy just like you did." Harleen's voice wavered. Her face lost its clinical look and became broken and sad. "I lost my family."

"No, no, no!" I screamed and raced out of the elevator. I won't listen to her. She's lying to me.

They're not dead. Mistah J and Lucy are alive. They're hiding out in the city, waiting for me to find them.

"Harley stop lying to yourself. You know the Joker never liked it when we lied. You need to accept the truth." Harleen's image walked alongside me on the windows. I hiccuped when Harleen mentioned Mistah J.

"It ain't a lie cause my Puddin is immortal and he'd never let anything happen to our baby girl." I picked up a chair and threw it at Harleen's image. The window shattered. I fought back the tears and resumed walking to the staircase.

Harleen is a liar, she's always been one. She lied for years about who she really was. Only Mistah J could see past her phony act and see hidden inside the good psychiatrist. Liar, liar, pants on fire. I won't believe anything she says.

They're not dead. Mistah J and Lucy are alive.

"Don't worry you two. I'm coming to find you." I took a moment to catch my breath before exiting the building. I stepped forward to push the door open.

"Stop." Harleen appeared in the glass. I jumped back.

"Why won't you leave me alone?! Get out of my head!"

"I can't. It's my duty to help you." Harleen said in that obnoxiously professional tone of hers.

"Well you're doing a crap job. Your lies aren't doing shit for me." I glared the image of my old self.

"I'm not lying, you're just in denial. You're denying the facts same as you did when you lost our son." Harleen's words cut through me like one of Mistah J's knives. Hot tears gathered in my eyes.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I furiously rubbed the tears away.

"Joker, Lucy, and Jay are all dead, Harley. Stop disrespecting their deaths by pretending like they didn't happen." Harleen kept assaulting me with her harsh words. "They're dead. Now own it!"

I broke down. Tears freely cascaded down my cheeks. My strength left me and I crumpled down to the floor. Harleen's image mirrored my own. She was crying and rubbing her face, much like I was. We both felt the pain of losing our family.

They're dead. Mistah J and Lucy are dead. I lost the only people that mattered to me. I'll never get to marry Mistah J. I'll never get to see him kill Batman. I'll never get to see Mistah J take over Gotham. I'll never kiss him or hold him again. I'll never be able to tell Mistah J I love him again. My Puddin. My Mistah J….And I'll never get to see Lucy grow up and give me grandkids. I'll never see her take my place one day. I'll never curl up in bed with her again. I'll never be able to tell my daughter I love her again.

It's not fair! Why were they taken from me?! My baby girl. My soulmate. They're gone….

"What am I supposed to do now? I've got nothing left to live for." I mumbled miserably.

"Yes you do." Harleen sniffled. She fixed her glasses, switching back to doctor mode. "There's a group of criminals that could use your help."

I chuckled. "Those ding-dongs probably do miss my hot bod. And I know things must be boring without me there to spice things up." I stood up and dusted myself off. The tears continued to fall even as I laughed and exited the building. Harleen's image faded and I was left with only my misery for company. Rain drops hit my skin, soaking my clothes. I panicked and reached inside my shirt for my bra. I felt what I was looking for and sadly moaned.

"I don't even get to keep the last memento of my baby girl, huh?" I pulled the soggy drawings out of my bra. The entire stack was ruined. I sobbed and let the drawings slip from my grasp. I continued on to, shivering from the cold and wet weather. I reached my destination and climbed on top of a car to wait for the squad of misfits to show up.

This is not how things were supposed to go. How did my world come crashing down so quick?

I reached behind my neck and unclasped the choker. I stared at it before sobbing and tossing the choker away. Heavy footsteps and breaking glass drew me out of my sadness. I brushed my wet hair back and smiled for the group of men approaching. "Hey guys. I'm back!" I waved. "I missed you all so much."

Focus on the squad now. The pain will go away.

Deadshot was the first to approach me. He attempted to smile but it came out as a pained grimace. "We're glad you could make it." His understanding eyes almost made me break down again. Deadshot came closer and held his arm out to help me down. I slid off the car and let him dip his arm under my legs. He carried me away from the car and over to the squad.

"Hey Craziness." Boomerang greeted me with a crooked smile after Deadshot set me down. The dirty thief threw my bat at me. I caught it and rolled it around my in fists, willing my heart to piece itself back together. My weak smile was returned with nods and soft pats on the shoulder as each of the boys passed me.

"Here Harley." A jacket was dropped around my shoulders. Diablo gently pulled in the direction of the moving soldiers. "I'm sorry for your loss."

I couldn't muster the energy to reply.

xxxxxxx

"Whatcha having KC?" I called to the crocodile observing the fish. I moved around the bar getting glasses and bottles ready for the bad guys craving a little pick-me-up.

Seems like we've all all hit rock bottom tonight. This whole mission was a bad joke.

"Bloody Mary right? Emphasis on the blood and a whole side of Mary." Deadshot joked, tapping his fingers on the bar.

KC growled. "Drink dulls the mind." He kept his back to the group, following some blue fish in the mini aquarium.

"KC, it's the end of the world." I implored. "Have a drink with us." I winked at KC when he finally stopped watching the fish.

"Beer." KC said after a dew seconds.

"There he is. A man after my own heart." Boomerang paused and then redacted his statement. "Don't take that literally." He took a sip of his drink and then smacked his hand on the table. "Sweet-lips, pour the man a beer."

I pulled a beer from under the counter and passed it to KC. I turned toDiablo next. "How bout you hotstuff?"

"Water." Diablo replied.

I nodded my head in agreement. "Says the guy who can set the world on fire. That's a good idea, honey." I pulled a glass out and filled it with water. As the glass filled, I spotted Katana lurking in the corner like a shadow. "Ninja? You want some saki?" I passed Diablo his drink while Katana deliberated.

"Whiskey." The ninja muttered. I smiled and got to work on her drink.

"What am I, twelve?" Deadshot complained, holding his small, empty, shot glass up for me to see. I chuckled and slid Katana her drink. I refilled Deadshot's glass.

"Here's to honor among thieves." Deadshot raised his glass for a toast.

"I'm not a thief." Katana interrupted. She went back to her corner.

Deadshot brushed off the interruption and turned to me. "She's not a thief." He stage-whispered. I smiled and clinked my drink with his. Deadshot swiveled around to raise his glass to KC and Diablo.

Boomerang leaned over. "No, not thieves." His glass clinked against Deadshot's and mine. "I actually prefer to think of myself as an asset relocation specialist."

Deadshot hummed at the answer. I gingerly sipped my tropical blue mixture while Deadshot lowered his drink to talk. "We almost pulled it off despite what everybody thought."

"We weren't picked to succeed, you know that right? We were all chosen to fail." Diablo pointed out.

"Yeah, I know that." Deadshot's voice went grave. "You know they're going to blame us for the whole thing. They can't have people knowing the truth. We're the patsies. The cover up." Deadshot mockingly smiled, swishing his drink around. "Don't forget. We're the bad guys."

Croc jumped into the conversation. "To the bad guys. You know, I never think of myself as a bad guy. I just got needs that others don't always agree with."

"You got it, Wally Gator." I laughed. "Good and bad, they change depending on who's writing the history books." I glanced at a despondent Deadshot. I set my drink down and pulled one of the umbrellas out to play with. "So you gonna tell us now, what your big deal with Flag was? What were you gonna get out of this?"

"Same thing Waller offered me to kill you, sweetheart." Deadshot hesitated to say the next part. "A chance to be a father. A chance at a life outside the shadows." I bit off apart of the toothpick.

No. Don't think about them right now.

"I trusted Flag." Deadshot darkly chuckled.

Diablo suddenly slapped his hand on the table, knocking over some napkins. "Flag had you chasing a carrot on a stick, homie! You don't know that?!"

I chuckled and pointed at a fiery Diablo. "I love this guy." I covered my mouth after Deadshot glared at me before sending an incredulous look Diablo's way.

"You played yourself, dog." Diablo dialed his anger back notch.

"Bitch, I'm having a drink." Deadshot snapped. He downed the rest of his shot. "I'm breathing fresh air and for two sweet seconds, I had hope."

Diablo snorted. "You had hope, huh?" He shook his head. "Hope don't stop the wheel form turning, my brother."

It was Deadshot's turn to snort. "You preaching?"

"It's coming back around for you. So how many people you killed, man?" Diablo pressed. Deadshot stared and then turned to me, tapping his glass. "Doll face, you got any more back there?" I rummaged through the bottles and grabbed a bottle of bourbon.

"The last one." I hummed and poured him another shot. "Savor it, honey."

"You're a street guy. You know, you don't ask nobody no question like that, ese." Deadshot heatedly answered Diablo's question.

"You ain't never whacked down no women, no kids." Diablo's voice hitched. My heart started feeling like it was cracking again.

"I don't kill women or children." Deadshot said.

"I do." Diablo whispered. He used his flames to tell the story of how he lost his family. My heart shattered and I felt the pain I buried coming back to the surface.

They're dead. Mistah J and Lucy are dead. My two reasons for living are gone. I'm all alone now. I lost my lover. I lost my daughter. I lost my Puddin and Puddin Pop.

It hurts!

"And the kids?" Boomerang muttered in shock, not understanding what he'd seen in the flames.

"He killed them." I whispered back. Boomerang's eyes glazed with water as he looked at me. I couldn't stand to look at his pitying eyes. My own eyes stung. "Didn't you?" I focused all my hurt on Diablo, the one who made the pain resurface.

"I lost them to my own hands." Diablo's voice cracked. His eyes became wet and red with grief.

I leaned over. "Own that shit." I repeated Harleen's words to him. "Own it!" I shouted when Diablo wiped at his eyes.

How dare he make me relive the pain I felt on the roof. I wanted to suppress those thoughts. Now there all coming back, along with the crippling emotions.

Mistah J. Lucy.

"What'd you think was gonna happen, huh?" I hissed at the unresponsive Diablo.

"Hey, Harley, come on…I know you're hurting about Lucy and your guy." Deadshot reached over to touch my elbow. I moved away from his gesture.

"What, you were just…" I snorted, unable to control the maelstrom of emotions riling me up. "You gonna have a happy family and coach little leagues and make a car payments? Normal's a setting on the dryer. People like us, we don't get normal."

Boomerang loudly interrupted my rant. "Why's it always a knife fight every single time you open your mouth?" I scowled at Boomerang, reaching for my drink and getting ready to smash the glass in the Australian's eyes. "You know outside, you're amazing." He smirked and then sneered. "Inside, you're ugly."

I slid down the bar, maliciously smiling at Boomerang. "We are all." I softly uttered. "We all are!" I said louder. I cocked my head in KC's direction. "Except him. He;s ugly on the outside too."

"Not me, shorty." Croc rumbled and pulled his hoodie off. "I'm beautiful."

I chuckled and coyly smiled. The tightness in my chest lightened. "Yeah you are." Croc growled and rolled his eyes at me. The door to the bar opened. In came Colonel Flag, the useless damsel in distress.

"We don't want you here." I said as Flag took a seat next to Deadshot. The others glared at him in agreement with me.

Flag is lucky I didn't kill him when he stepped out the building. If it weren't for the fact that he's another lap dog, I'd have killed him. Waller is the one in charge. She's the one who used me. The one who endangered my baby. The one who had my family killed.

"You get to the part in that binder saying I was sleeping with her?" Flag questioned.

"Yeah." Deadshot nodded. "I've never been with a witch before. What's that like?" Flag blankly stared at Deadshot. The gunman moved on without Flag's answer. "That's why the creatures chase after him all the time. He's got a connection with part of her. Cause'a that, the witch is scared of him."

"The only woman I've ever loved is trapped inside that monster. If I can wake her up, I can end this. But if I don't stop the witch, it's over. Everything's over. Everything." Flag spoke with weary honesty. He pulled the detonator out his pocket and tapped on the screen. Everyone tensed as Flag messed with the device. "You're free to go." He smashed the detonator against the bar and tossed the broken remains to the ground. Boomerang shot out of his seat and left the bar. I rushed over to the mirror at the back of the bar, inspecting my neck. I saw a glowing green light.

Is it really turned off?

"Your daughter writes to you every day, Lawton. Every single day."

I turned around and saw Deadshot looking at a stack of colorful letters. My eyes watered.

Lucy drew pictures and gave them to me. Those pictures helped me get through the monotonous days of being imprisoned….The rain soaked them and I threw them away. I threw my baby girl's drawings away…..Oh, Lucy.

"You had this the whole time?!" Deadshot shoved Flag back and angrily waved the letters in the man's face. "You had letters from my daughter the whole time?!" Deadshot struggled to keep himself from striking Flag down. I could hear his heavy breathing from all the way behind the bar. "I'm gonna get you there. And you're gonna end this. Imm'a carry you if I have to. This shit is gonna be like a chapter in the bible and everybody's gonna know what we did. My daughter is gonna know that her Daddy is not a piece of shit." Deadshot finished his tirade and stormed out the bar. The others stared, contemplating their next moves.

"Harley." Flag called, but wouldn't meet my eyes. I tipped my head for him to go on. "I tried to stop Waller from shooting down the helo. I couldn't stomach killing Lucia. Especially not after I lived with her….She didn't deserve that end."

Don't think. I don't want to think. I wan to act.

"I'll come." I walked around the bar. Flag sent me a grateful look and left the bar. "What? You got something better to do? C'mon." I posed the question to the remaining squad members. I grabbed my bat.

I literally have nothing else to do without my Puddin or Puddin Pop here. Better I use my time to duke it out with the greatest evil to walk this Earth. Killing something will make me feel better.

"Pussies." I taunted when no one else moved to follow me out.

I'll put on a good show for Mistah J and Lucy.


	2. Chapter 2

Heads up everyone, these chapters will not be in chronological order nor will they follow a pattern. Here's one of the Joker's POV that was requested.

xxxxxxx

Joker

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"Mr. J, you have to get up. It's time for our session." Her voice drew me from my empty slumber. I rolled away from the honeyed voice.

Fake. Fake. Fake. She's not real.

"Don't be like that Mr. J. I'm here to help you." Her hand ghosted over my shoulder. The sensation of touch was so real that I whirled around to face her. "Besides, weren't you the one who said you lived for these moments with me?"

"Doctor….Quinzel." The name rolled off my tongue. The pretty blonde doctor smiled the shy, unassuming smile that fooled so many others. I wasn't fooled. I recognized the caged monster dwelling inside her the moment we met. "What do you got for me today? Another kitty cat?"

Dr. Quinzel has been plaguing me since….

"Not today. And I told you, it's time for your session. So get dressed and we can begin therapy." She stood up, tucking loose strands back into her neat bun. The temptress beckoned for me to follow her to the closet. Deliriously, I followed her, swiping a pair of slacks and a dress-shirt off the hangers. "Getting out of bed and getting dressed can be a difficult challenge for patients suffering from severe depression." Dr. Quinzel scribbled something on a clipboard.

"Watch how you label me, doc. There's no straight jacket keeping me from strangling you." I growled. My hands hovered near her dainty neck.

It'd be easy to snap her neck in two. I should have killed her. I should have killed both of them. This is their fault.

"We both know you can't kill me, Mr. J. I'm apart of your mind." Her throat bobbed from a soft chuckle. "Threats aren't going to keep me from doing my job either." She smiled, mocking me with her confidence. I turned away, moving to the bathroom to escape that naive ghost.

She's just as annoying as the real thing. I forgot how sickening Dr. Quinzel's optimism could be. I much prefer the darker side of her. The part that was so consumed with saving me. The part that churned my gray matter into pudding. She left me in a black hole of rage and confusion all those years ago…..And here I am, right back in that pit.

"Did you sleep well last night? It's been days since you had a full night's rest." Dr. Quinzel leaned against the shower door, her back to me to give the illusion of privacy.

"What's wrong kitten? Don't you want to take a peek? I don't mind." The water glided over my skin, washing off the remaining makeup from the previous day.

"I'll tell Mr. Frost that the pills are helping with your insomnia." She disregarded my invitation.

Johnny is the only one I haven't shot yet. That might change if he keeps crushing pills and slipping them in my drinks. I don't need drugs to function. Being the Joker is a drug on its own.

"Don't be upset with Mr. Frost, he's only trying to help you. Without him you'd have died from alcohol poisoning or starvation. He's keeping you alive, Mr. J."

I stepped out of the shower, drying myself off and dressing. "I don't need him babying me." My clothes felt baggier on me.

"Everybody needs somebody, Mr. J. No man is an island." Dr. Quinzel scribbled something else on her clipboard. "You're forgetting something."

I set the crimson lipstick down. "And what's that?" I brushed back my hair. Same green hair. Same red lips. Same bleached skin. Same rich clothing. This is the look of the Joker, the King of Gotham. What could I have possibly missed?

"The most important thing about you." Dr. Quinzel leaned in, her lips nearly brushing my ear. "You're smile. The smile." She whispered. An involuntary shiver traveled down my back. "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

I laughed. The hollow sound grated on my nerves. This isn't my laugh. This is the laugh of a broken man. I'm the Joker. I don't break. I break everyone and everything.

"Let me help you put the smile back on your face." I felt something move along the contours of my mouth. I opened my mercury eyes and saw a black smile traced around my frown. "That'll have to do for now, Mr. J."

"You're so funny, doc. You should've been a comedian." I hissed. The tube of makeup in my hand cracked from how tight I was holding it.

"I wouldn't have to draw a fake smile on your face if you hadn't thrown your girls away. You're mistake is the reason you can't smile anymore." The doctor coldly pointed out.

I'll kill her. I'll kill her. I'll kill her.

My arm swung out, intending to wrap around her neck and end things but the blonde temptress had already disappeared. I stared at the empty bathroom. "Good riddance."

I don't need Harleen Quinzel. I'm the Joker. I'm an idea. I don't feel loss. I don't feel love. But I know pain. Pain is the only thing I've felt since they…..

"It's okay to feel love Mr. J. It's natural to love your significant other. And to love your daughter." Her voice called to me again. No longer was she dressed as an uptight doctor. Harleen Quinzel was dressed down in the jeans and blouse she chased me down in. She stood in the middle of my circle of chaos, surrounded by rows of guns and knives.

"Impossible. I do not fall in love. Certainly not with a crackpot nor with a spoiled brat. I don't need anyone to complete me. I'm loony enough for two families." I sank down on the steps, admiring the collection of items in my toy room.

"Lies. All lies. You fell in love with me and that's why you killed me. My heart scared you." Dr. Quinzel made that disgustingly heartbroken face. I scowled, grinding my teeth. "I killed for you. I jumped for you. I died for you." My eyes flew open to see her harshly glaring at me behind those idiotic glasses. Her hands reached for my neck, pulling me in. I sighed from the phantom touch. "I proved I loved you. I became Harley Quinn for you. The least you could do is be honest about your feelings….Admit that you're lost without me. Lost without Lucy." She pressed her forehead against mine. I could almost feel her breath tickling my nose. "At least be honest about Lucy." She disappeared again, leaving behind a cold chill on my neck and forehead. I stood up and fell back onto the ground, staring at the ceiling.

No. No. No.

I don't miss them. They offered me nothing beyond total subservience and unconditional love. Traits that could be easily replaced by adopting some mangy, flea-bitten dogs. They mean nothing to me. The Joker does not love, does not feel attachment. I am an idea, a force of nature. There is no room for love.

"You don't mean that Papa. As mean as you are to Mama and me, you truly do love us." A child's voice cooed beside me.

"You're in on this too, Princess?" I darkly chuckled at baby Lucy's innocent and adoring smile that she presented only for me. She giggled and laid her head on my chest, right over the area above my heart. The damn organ pounded erratically. "You're going to torment Daddy too?"

"I know you love Mama. And I know you love me. I forgive you Papa." My hand trembled, suspended over her fair hair. Those bright eyes of hers stared unblinkingly at me. "I know you're really sorry for letting us go. I'm your little princess, I can always tell these things." She disappeared before I could touch her hair. "It's so obvious you love us. You have all these pictures of Mama and me here in your favorite room." I sat up, watching her walk along the iPads and laptops with their faces on them.

"Even my sibling's things are in here." She stopped in front of the baby clothes.

Weapons take up the majority of this room and all she picks out are the sentimental nicknacks. All these blades are just waiting for me to pick a favorite then take one to my neck and slice all the way through. I could end it.

"If you kill yourself then you won't be able to find us." The brat's eyes teared up. "Don't you want to find us, Papa? We're miserable without you." Lucy cried without restraint. I groaned at the pathetic display.

Why? Why? Why? Why does this child affect me?…..I'm the Joker, I don't love her. I don't love Harley. I don't love them. I don't need them.

"Please, Papa? I wanna come home." Lucy begged, rubbing at her eyes and collapsing on her knees. I ducked my head, refusing to look at her snotty face. "Please? I promise I'll be a good girl."

Damn it…..Finding another sex-starved, mallet-wielding, psychopath won't be easy. Neither would it be easy to raise another obedient, knife-throwing, criminal mastermind. Even though I wanted nothing more than to take a drill to Harley's head every time she called me Puddin, I crave that now. More than that, I crave hearing that little devil call me Papa.

"Where are you, Looney Tunes? Your Puddin wants you. Your Papa wants you." The words tumbled out my mouth.

"Find us then, Papa." Lucy reappeared next to me. She hugged me. "Come for us."

"I will." I promised, pulling out my custom gun. She smiled and then vanished. Something wet slid down my cheeks. The door clicked open. My gun was instantly trained on the person intruding. Johnny slowly stepped into the room.

"Boss, I got some information." He carefully said, waiting until I'd lowered the gun to further enter. Johnny took a seat on the steps after I put the gun down. "It cost. It cost big."

"I don't care." I took a deep breath, ignoring the stinging in my eyes.

"Wanted you to know that." Johnny took out his phone.

"Just tell me. Where are they?" I impatiently observed my right-hand shift through his phone.

"I've only got info on Quinn. I'm still working on Lucy's case…" He wearily met my enraged eyes, but continued on, steering my mind toward the better news. "It's complex because it's not just her. Everyone is disappearing."

"Everyone?" I repeated. I own this city and I haven't heard of anyone up and disappearing like this.

Johnny nodded. "So like I say, it's not just her. There's some new law. Federal, not city or state. It comes down to this: if you're a bad enough bad guy they stamp terrorist on your jacket and send you to this new secret court."

I rolled my neck, tiring of the too long explanation. "You're getting on my nerves, Frost. You said you had answers. I'm not hearing them." I stared at my gun, itching to shoot something.

"I was coming right to it, Boss. I couldn't find anything about the court itself. You know, it's all top secret, but by spreading some cash to the right people, I found out they send them to some swamp in Louisiana. A black site. That's where she is."

"You're sure?" Something flickered in my chest. The fire of madness is starting to burn inside me again.

"Yes, Boss. I swear on my life." Johnny assured me.

"Oh please, If you're going to swear, swear on something that matters, Johnny-Boy."

I'll find them. I'll find them both. And I'll burn down everything if I have to. No one steals from the Joker. My girls are going to be returned to me.

"So what're we doing?" Johnny asked.

"Bring the car around. We're going for a drive." A slow smile worked its way onto my face. "And keep looking for Lucy. I want her found, Johnny." I felt laughter ripple through my chest. I fell back and let the agonizing laughter consume me.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Don't worry girls, Daddy's coming for you both.


	3. Chapter 3

xxxxxxx

Joker

xxxxxxx

"S-She's dead, sir. There's nothing more I can do for her." The doctor the boys kidnapped refused to make eye contact with me and was choking back sobs.

Liar!

"Check again!" I growled. The weak woman cowered in fear. When she didn't move to follow my order, I seized her neck and shoved her face above Lucy's. "She's not dead so check again!"

My child would never die in such an anticlimactic manner. My child will die on a glorious stage of fire and death in Gotham City, not in the back of a stolen ambulance from blood loss. Lucia is no regular child, she is my daughter and she will not die without my permission.

"M-Mr. Joker please! I've already given her a blood transfusion and tried resuscitating her. I'm sorry but your daughter is dead." The useless wench continued to beg and plead even as my fingers dug deeper into her neck, drawing blood.

Lair!

"Lucy is not dead!" I roared. My vision went red and the adrenaline pumped through my veins erratically. The van was filled with the doctors screams as her head collided with the wall multiple times. I was deaf to everything as I sated the most primal part of myself that demanded blood. All that mattered to me was that this woman failed to save my heir.

My child is not dead! My daughter did not die in my arms! Lucia is the daughter of the Joker. She is untouchable. She is not ruled by death, she rules it and deals it out to the lesser pieces of filth polluting this world. That is her legacy as my heir, to make the the world quake in fear and awe. There was still so much havoc I expected her to cause.

"Boss." Johnny's calm voice brought my mind out of the red haze. I stopped smashing the doctor's head in. My body was still trembling from the rage and it took a great effort not to continue indulging in the euphoria of violence on Johnny Frost.

"Get rid of this."

The doctor's corpse was getting blood everywhere. I tossed the worthless lump at Johnny like it was nothing and took pleasure in seeing the lifeless body hit the ground. Johnny snapped his fingers and two of the boys dragged the carcass away.

I stepped closer to Lucy's unmoving body. The clothes she'd been wearing were nothing but shreds now, barely held together by the strips I'd torn off my own shirt to stop the bleeding. She wasn't smiling at me with that expression of hers. It was like she knew I was a monster and would continually hurt her but she still adored me as any child adores their parent. Her love sickened me as much as Harley's did. So many times I just wanted to tear out her eyes and never look into those childish eyes again.

HAHAHAHAHA

One pain in my ass is finally gone and yet I feel no joy, no laughter, only fury and something else that's gnawing at my chest. Why? Why? Why? Again this wretched little girl has played a nasty joke on me. How can this girl make the Joker crumble? This vile little monster has stolen my joy and left me in the black hole of emptiness. This pain feels worse than when that reject bat knocked out my teeth and ruined my perfect smile. Damn Lucy for this!

"Boss, what do you wanna do with Lucy?" Johnny hesitantly broached his question. For once he didn't look impeccably calm, the giant dared to look mournfully at my child. He waited for me to decide our next move and leaned on the side of the ambulance. The doctor hadn't gotten a chance to look at either Johnny or me. Lucy's deathly pale figure had been the priority over my burns and Johnny's sprained ankle.

HAHAHAHAHA

Lucy always was a danger magnet. She always came out of a scrape with the worst injuries somehow.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

"We're taking her back to Gotham, where she belongs." I started yanking off the cords attached to her body and effortlessly picked her small body up. Johnny stepped back, giving me room to jump out the back of the van. My right-hand didn't say anything more. He followed me to the other car and opened the back door. The van was supposed to be the getaway car for me, Harley, and Lucy and take us back home.

HAHAHAHAHA

Boy, did that plan go awry. No Harley and no Lucy. The prodigal King returns to his kingdom without his queen and princess.

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

I sat down on the bench with Lucy in my lap. The boys were too afraid of my apparent calm and squeezed into the front with Johnny, leaving me alone in the back to brood. Johnny shut the little window connecting the back and front, recognizing my need for quiet. The man knew me all too well.

"So you're really dead this time, Pumpkin?"

My finger idly traced the visible scars she'd accumulated on her face. One scar ran diagonally across her eyebrow. Another scar was at the tip of her lip. Those two were the most notable ones that would be permanent marks. The other cuts and bruises on her pale face would have healed over time.

"You're not playing dead to piss me off are you?" I kept talking to her, hoping that this was one of her games. It wouldn't be the first time the brat had pulled this stupid stunt. The last time had been when she was poisoned. Harley was hysterical and wouldn't stop howling about her poor baby. I knew better, the little devil wasn't dead. Lucy may have entered the void but I held her and she came back to the land of the living.

"If you are, Daddy'll forgive you Princess." I played with her long hair. If Lucy were awake she'd pitch a fit about messing up her perfect hair. Her vanity was on par with mine and Harley's. "Daddy forgives you and Harley for just about everything anyway. You two have caused me to lose blood and money on a daily basis. If I weren't such an evil genius I'd be broke and behind bars by now."

The blood was starting to dry on my bare chest and some of it got on Lucy's face from me caressing her cheek. The bright red stuck out on her.

HAHAHAHA

This was not what I wanted. Lucy was not supposed to die.

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

"I'll kill all of them. Waller. Batman. Griggs. All of them that took from me shall die." I muttered as a stinging sensation registered in my eyes.

HAHAHAHA

The Joker does not cry. I am an idea. I do not feel love and loss. I am chaos, I am death.

Without thinking, I started to hum the twisted lullaby Harley created for Lucy to ignore the stinging in my eyes. "Daddy's gonna kill for you the whole damn world."

Three heirs had been created for me. Out of the three only one survived past the womb. Lucy had been the only to live. I don't know if that made her lucky or unlucky but the brat proved to be an interesting toy to watch. From the day she was born, Lucy had been oddity. Her innate intelligence from an early age peeked my interest and prompted me to raise her in my image and she flourished. She didn't break from my machinations but grew from each and every one.

HAHAHAHA

Any child of mine was doomed to have a crazy lifestyle and it was sink or swim. That tyke swam like she was born for it.

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

"And if they don't laugh at our jokes, Daddy's gonna stab out their goddam throats."

All along I hated the idea of procreating. The Joker had no time for worthless pups that lived for love and attention. The only love the Joker had to give was to the world by making others laugh and smile. My diabolical work was my calling. But special little Lucia had to crew up that mindset. The King had been robbed of two heirs and wasn't going to allow the third heir to be stolen from him. Her sibling's untimely deaths had been the reason I allowed Harley to carry the child to term. Her sibling's death allowed her to live.

"And if they start to run away, Daddy's gonna paint the streets with blood."

Damn these nuisances that tunneled their way into my mind. Harley. Jay Junior. Lucia. The three of them didn't deserve a place within the madness that is the Joker but they had claimed it anyway.

"And once the blood starts to wash off, Daddy's gonna blow some more heads off."

HAHAHAHA

Look at how pathetic these wretches have made me. The Joker broken down by a itsy-bitsy, tiny-whiny, girl.

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

"And if the world still doesn't laugh, Daddy's gonna go and poison them. And once the poison does its job, Daddy's gonna show you your legacy." I slammed my head against the wall in frustration. The leakage coming from my eyes was agitating some of the burns. Though the burning wasn't hurting nearly as much as the pain in my chest.

"And if the world still tries to fight, Daddy's gonna burn their houses down. And if you grow up with my smile, Daddy's gonna be proud of you." The ridiculous song was distraction enough for me to ignore the cadaver I was holding like a broken doll. For the duration of the drive I hummed Harley's song, imaging the minx was right next to me singing along.

xxxxxxx

"Lucia Jay Quinn, a Crime Princess of Gotham City."

A mad chuckle escaped from my mouth. The Joker holding his dead daughter in a cemetery was too much for me, I couldn't help laughing. The boys dug a hole for me to bury the sleeping princess in. She deserved something more grand, something that befitted her station as my heir and the Princess but the abruptness of our arrival to Gotham prevented me from having anything arranged for her. Maybe I didn't have to bury her. Lucy loved those dumb disney princesses. She'd probably like it better if I encased her in a glass coffin surrounded by flowers.

"You'd like a glass coffin wouldn't you, Princess?" I cooed to Lucy.

She didn't respond. She hadn't responded to me in hours. The silence was infuriating. I wanted the brat to open her eyes. I wanted my little monster to live.

"Well this is goodbye. You had a good run tyke." I bent down, prepared to drop Lucy into the hole. The burning returned to my eyes. I growled and closed my eyes so the traitorous droplets wouldn't fall. I felt Lucy's body begin to slip from my grasp.

I would have completely let go if I hadn't felt movement from her.

"Lucy?!" I pulled her back to my chest and stared, waiting to see if the earlier movement was real or fake. Seconds dragged by before her body suddenly convulsed and she let out a gasp. I laughed as she she heaved for air.

HAHAHAHAHA

I knew she wasn't dead, she is the heir of the Joker! Lucy is immune to death!

"You are the greatest joke of all time, Princess!" I said. My laughter continued as did Lucy's sharp intakes of breath.

HAHAHAHAHA

The Princess rises from the dead!


	4. Chapter 4

Here is the long awaited Batman request! I'll try to knock out the Damian one next.

xxxxxxx

Batman/Bruce Wayne

xxxxxxx

"Master Wayne?" Alfred appeared next to me, his dark eyes watched me from behind his glasses. "How long are you going to stare at a blank screen? Surely you can find a better use for your time?"

I grunted and yanked the mask off. My hair fell into my eyes and I brushed it back.

"Did something happen while you were out? Besides the usual crime-fighting business you're so fond of." Alfred's sardonic British accent carried a hint of worry.

"I captured Quinn and turned her over to the government. This time she won't be breaking out."

A heavy weight settled on my chest as I told Alfred a half-truth. I did the right thing. Those clowns are a menace to Gotham's citizens. They have to be stopped for crime to come to an end.

"That should be a cause for celebration then. Instead you're here in the Batcave, brooding like you've done something wrong."

I did the right thing. She could turn out to be just as dangerous as her parents. Who knows what his spawn is truly capable of?

"I need to catch Joker now. The streets of Gotham won't be safe until both of them are locked away forever." I scooted forward to boot the computer up. I caught those psychos by chance. If I hadn't been out listening to police scanners, those clowns would have been joyriding around all night. They caused plenty of collateral damage in that car.

News reports and criminal files of the Joker appeared on the screen. I would have to compile all these files together to pin him down. Years of searching and I still haven't located his main hideout. The only clues I have are the suspicious establishments that he's rumored to frequent. Dodgy clubs seem to be his preferred place. I'll have to scope out those places.

"Master Wayne I think resting would be in your best interest. You seem to be very out of sorts." Alfred pressed.

"I'm fine Alfred. This needs to be taken care of immediately."

He hesitated for a moment before grabbing my shoulder. I took my eyes off the computer to give him my full attention. Alfred isn't one to initiate physical contact without reason. The British are far more reserved with their affections than Americans are.

"Master Wayne this clearly isn't about Gotham's security. I know you're still hurting about Master Jason but vengeance isn't the answer. You've been down that path already. Don't go down it again." Alfred's steady and wise voice made the uncomfortable weight in my chest worsen.

I failed him. Robin died on my watch. Joker and Quinn killed my son. Jason Todd was a troubled boy but he was slowly turning his life around. He still had so much to live for. I'm sorry Jason, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.

"I'll be turning in Alfred." I rose up from my seat, rushing out the Batcave and ignoring Alfred's concerned shouts.

I need to be alone. My feet carried me to my room and I stripped off the Batman guise. As each piece came off my body weakened from the strain of Batman's choices.

Batman is a force of justice. He must be a bean of hope and strength to everyone. Batman cannot be burdened with regrets or indecision. Bruce Wayne however is allowed to drown in the leftover emotions.

"Did I do the right thing?" I spoke to the air, collapsing on the bed in nothing but my underclothes.

I couldn't tell Alfred the truth, that I handed over a child. A wounded, crying, child. Quinn called the child Lucy. I saved the two of them and then gave them to Amanda Waller, a well-known political shark. Quinn deserved her fate. She's committed countless crimes and refused all forms of help, there is no chance of redemption for her. Her child…I'm conflicted about her child. Having the Joker and Harley Quinn as parents couldn't have been easy for her. That child has probably witnessed horrors that no child should see. She must have been miserable with them. Her life must have consisted of abuse, manipulation, and neglect. A child like that needed to be saved by Batman, not condemned.

"I should have taken her in." I stared at the mask laying on the ground, mocking me for my mistake. "But I didn't."

Justice is a heavy burden to bear.

Alfred was right. I've fallen again. I was consumed with thoughts of revenge when my parents were killed in from tor me. I walked the path of vengeance for years. It was a dangerous and bloody path. Now Joker and Quinn have pushed me back to that after they killed Jason. I wanted vengeance for Jason so I took from Joker like he took from me. Justice is balance as my old mentor Ra's al Ghul would say. He took my son from me and I took his daughter from him.

I was blind to reason because of my anger. Instead of seeing an innocent child free of her parent's sins, I saw a devil in the making. In my mind, Joker's spawn was every bit as psychotic and evil as him. Lucy loved causing chaos and held no regard for human life, like Joker she would watch the world burn. Thinking that she was a criminal like her father made it easier to give her up. My actions weren't done in the name of justice.

"Why do we fall Bruce?" I muttered the words my father once said to me and then was repeated to me by Alfred in my greatest moment of despair. "So we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Batman can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice. You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I won't become a villain. I have to fix this mistake.

xxxxxxx

"Batsy, Batsy, Batsy. Come out, come out, come out. Come out and play." The child sang out loud in the pitch-black room.

I stood in the corner, watching her through the night-vision setting of the mask. She looked and sounded like a normal child. Her skin had gone pale from being locked in a room for months but the tone was nowhere near the color of her parents. If it weren't for her mercury eyes and white-blonde hair, I'd never think that this tiny, fragile, child was the spawn of the most notorious criminals in Gotham.

"Holy hell! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! Can't you use the door like a normal person?" She shouted, clutching at her chest and flinching back from my towering figure.

I stared at the child that had caused me such turmoil. For months the guilt ate away at me, especially after I remembered that I'd met her before. I did everything I could to get the girl released into my custody. At the risk of exposing my connection to my alter ego, I hounded Waller as Bruce Wayne, demanding that she release Abigail Wayne. Waller denied that she had such a child in her custody. When I continued pushing and threatened to involve her superiors, Waller blew off my threat, stating that I couldn't have a child that didn't exist and then ignored the rest of my calls. At that point I realized I'd exhausted my resources as Bruce Wayne. The official paperwork was never finished for Abigail and since there's no record of a Lucia Quinn, the child really didn't exist from a technical standpoint. I couldn't reach the girl as Bruce Wayne.

Taking a different approach, I donned the mask and revisited the issue. As Batman, Waller owed me for the two criminals I'd turned in and she couldn't afford to make an enemy of the Dark Knight. True to her name, the Wall refused to turn over custody but she did allow me to send a certified doctor to ascertain the child's well-being, both physical and mental. The doctor had mostly good things to say about Lucia Quinn's temperament.

"Are you mad at me Mistah Batman?" The child fidgeted in her seat and fearfully observed me for signs of aggression.

"Why did you lie to me?" I growled. She may look helpless but she is still guilty of deception. I want to believe that this child is innocent, that she isn't her father's daughter.

"W-What do you mean Mistah?"

"Why did you lie about who you were Abigail?" I spat out the fake name. I had every intention of helping her when I found her in that abandoned warehouse but the little girl I met was a cleverly placed lie. Abigail was an illusion. It almost sickened me to think that I saw myself in her.

"I was scared you'd hurt me if you knew my real identity." The child sniveled, shooting me a miserably aware look. "I know how much you despise my parents."

Justice, not vengeance.

I sighed heavily, letting the festering rage dwindle before pulling out the chair and sitting down.

"My business is with your parents. They're the ones who have committed crime after crime, not you…" I had to repeatedly uncurl my fist while I was talking. Any mention of Joker still sets me off. "But I let my bias cloud my judgment and involved you, a child. That was a mistake that I'm going to rectify."

Justice, not vengeance. I can't lose my sense of compassion, it's what separates me from my enemies.

The child tilted her head and stared at me in wonder.

"You're still young, You can be saved from your parent's madness, there's still time for you to change. You just need someone to help you walk the right path Lucy." I scooted forward in the chair, pushing my point to reach beyond the dark years of her parent's vile child-rearing.

Lucy can be saved. I'll help her walk in the light as Alfred has done for me.

"And who would help me walk down the straight-and-narrow path Mistah Batman? You? No offense but you don't strike me as the parenting type. You're kind of a busy man to be playing Papa Bear." Lucy said with disbelief.

"You had someone that was willing to take you in five years ago…He's willing to give you another chance." I scooted back, watching Lucy mull over my offer. She eventually lifted her head with a childish smile in place.

"Awwwww." She cooed. "Mistah Wayne still wants to adopt little'ole me?" Then she giggled and I felt a chill go down my spine. Her laugh is too similar to his. How much damage has that monster done to this child?

"You and Mistah Wayne must be real good chums cause I don't think anybody in their right mind would willingly bring the Joker's daughter into their home. They'd have to be cuckoo otherwise. Cuckoo, cuckoo…" Lucy trailed off, humming and bobbing her head to an imaginary tune.

"Lucy you then, that we're so close." A smirk twitched at my lips from her astute assessment.

"Lucky indeed. Or maybe unlucky depending how you look at it." She muttered, sneering at a corner of the ceiling. "I won' be Abigail Wayne and I'm not going anywhere with you."

Lucy's abrupt change caught me off guard. She had been complaining non-stop to the doctor about how much she hated her circumstances and now when an opportunity to leave her cage presents itself, she refuses it. What's going on?

I opened my mouth to question her and she cut me off. "I don't trust you. You're Papa's worst enemy and you put me in here because that sidekick of yours is dead! This is all because you couldn't protect him!"

Justice, not vengeance! Justice, not vengeance! Justice, not vengeance!

I forced myself to remain still as Lucy shouted at me with a wild look in her eyes.

"You're a faker. The great Batman is just as corrupt as any other criminal in Gotham." Lucy leaned forward. "And I bet you know why Papa killed your Robin."

The emotions stirring inside me were too much. Anger. Pain. Regret. Shame. Disgust. This child was riling me up like no other.

"Deep, deep, deep, down, you know you deserved that punishment. It's only fair that you lost a son after killing my brother." Lucy's words stabbed at my chest.

Quinn…I kicked her violently through a glass window. The impact caused Quinn severe damage. The worst damage was the stream of blood escaping from her lower half and onto her legs. I was horrified from the implications of what I'd done and fled from the scene. Quinn was pregnant…I killed an innocent child.

"You're no better than the prey you hunt. You're a villain."

"Enough!" I bolted up, slamming my hands on the table. "Lucia Quinn, you are your father's child, a wicked little monster."

I stormed out the room, refusing to acknowledge the dark truth of her words.

Batman is an idea. Batman is justice. Batman is not a villain.


	5. Chapter 5

xxxxxxx

Damian Wayne

xxxxxxx

"Why are you outside alone, singing to thin air?" I questioned the girl sitting at the edge of the docks. She almost tipped forward into the river form my intrusion.

"Um, cause it's fun." She answered unsurely while gaping at me like a fish. I frowned at her ridiculous behavior.

"It's pointless and dumb. What if you catch a cold? Or end up kidnapped?" I stepped closer to her, imposing my hostile figure over to drive the point home. Someone as fragile looking as her didn't need to be out alone. Any man with ill intentions could easily overpower her.

This kind of recklessness didn't make sense to me.

"What an odd girl. Are most females this strange?" I muttered while further examining the girl. She was dressed rather expensively and appeared to be in good physical health with the exception of her unnaturally pale skin.

This girl must be from a rich family.

"You're the strange one. Look at what you're wearing." In a snap, the girl went from docile to fiery, rudely pointing at my warrior's garb. "And you're outside alone too kiddo."

"These are sacred robes befitting a master swordsman. Do not belittle me by addressing me as kiddo." I corrected the girl, crossing my arms to prevent myself from striking her. Such blatant disrespect would have been treated with a sharp slap in my homeland.

Grandfather taught me to never let anyone disrespect me but Mother on the other hand cautioned me not to be brutish with those weaker than me or of the opposite gender.

"You are the more strange one. I've never seen someone with such deathly pale skin. Are you ill?" Since I couldn't strike her I'd settle for a verbal assault.

The girl stood up, grinning at me like I'd said something humorous. "You're not from here are you? What's your name?"

I silently assessed the pros and cons of gracing this girl with my name. She didn't seem like a threat. "You may call me Damian."

Her mouth dropped opened and she stared at me.

"And you are?" I prompted impatiently. This girl's constant staring and airy attitude were beginning to seriously annoy me. She hastily dropped into a curtsey.

So she does have some manners.

"Lucia Quinn, nice to meet'cha." She rose up from the curtsey with a smile. "But you can call me Lucy."

"Your name sounds familiar. But what is that accent? It's not the standard Gotham tongue I've researched." I leaned forward, analyzing the anomaly called Lucia Quinn. At the edge of my mind I registered something off-putting about her name but the reason escaped me.

"You are such a charming boy. You've already called me strange and poked fun at my skin. Now you're commenting on my speech. Do you always talk to girls like this?" Lucia rocked back and forth on her feet. The smile on her face had become larger but less warm. My skin prickled from her contradicting moods.

"No. Most females I speak to are servants and don't talk much. I suppose you're the first female I've spoken to that isn't a servant or my mother."

"You poor, poor, boy. No wonder you're so dreadfully awkward." Lucia patted me on the shoulder mockingly. I was shocked by her informality. No one save my family had ever touched me so freely. "I'll forgive your rude behavior this time. I know it's tough talking to a pretty girl for the first time."

"Quit touching me!" I slapped her hand away, scandalized by the lack of decorum. "You are the discourteous one, touching me so informally. And there is nothing pretty about you!"

How dare she be so forward with me! In my country a girl of her age would never touch another man that wasn't her father, sibling, or husband like this. I can't imagine how loose the rest of the citizens of Gotham are. Mother explained to me the cultural differences between our countries but I didn't expect to experience it so soon.

"If I didn't have such a high level of confidence and maturity, I'd be hurt." Lucia shrugged and sat back down to stare at the river. "So why are you outside little Dame?"

"Do not call me that." I deeply inhaled to contain my rage. This girl was pushing me off the edge with everything she was saying and doing. I ignored her offer to sit beside her and remained standing.

"I was simply taking a walk." I supplied after my breathing evened out.

"You picked a fancy place to walk. Only the rich citizens really come by these parts." Lucia twirled some of her hair around her finger.

"Is that so? Does that mean you're some rich man's daughter?" I snidely smirked, finding the idea of her being part of Gotham's elite absurd. Perhaps she was a merchant's daughter.

Lucia hummed in response. "You could say that my father is the King of Gotham."

I snorted. "I find that hard to believe. You don't strike me as the princess type."

If Gotham did have a royal family then the Waynes would be the most appropriate to bear that honor. They owned basically everything in Gotham. A powerful family like that could accomplish so much in this diseased city if its family head weren't so misguided…My father is wasting his time with that one-man vigilante nonsense.

"There you go insulting me again." Lucia laughed. That laugh chilled my bones, it edged to closely on mania. "Being mean isn't a good way to make friends Dame."

"Don't call me that." Was my immediate response before I absorbed the rest of her sentence and scrunched my face in confusion. "Friends? We're not friends. You and I barely know each other. We're strangers."

I'd never had a friend my entire life. Grandfather said they were unnecessary. His successor needed only family and followers.

"We don't have to be. We could be friends. I mean we've already skipped over certain stages of friendship."

"Such as?"

"We traded our names. We insulted each other. And we're getting better acquainted. That makes us friends in my book." She listed her points off on her fingers.

"You truly are an odd person." I mumbled, at a loss from her childish logic.

Lucia giggled. "I get that a lot. I think my Papa is the only one who hasn't ever been bothered by my eccentrics. He seems to find them amusing."

"Your father, you speak fondly of him…Do you…" I trailed off, wondering why I was bringing this up. The purpose of my walk was to clear my mind of thoughts pertaining to my father and yet he has come back to the forefront of my mind. I crossed my arms and refused to meet Lucia's curious gaze. "Do you get along with him?"

Lucia chewed her lip in thought as she composed her reply. Maybe she wasn't as much of an airhead as I previously thought if she need to think about her answer. I assumed a spoiled girl like her would instantly answer in the affirmative. What problems could a privileged brat like her have?

"Even though he lets his work consume him he still has his moments where he makes me feel like I'm special. I treasure those moments where I'm his favorite little monster. Attention and affection is all any kid wants from their parent." Lucian finished with a genuine smile for me. I had taken a seat next to her during her long response.

"I see…I suppose you and I might have more in common than I first assumed." I turned away from her knowing smile, resting my chin on my knees.

A lot of what she said applied to me even though I hated to admit it.

"Does your father work too?"

"Yes he does." I glared frigidly ahead. "It's why I've never met him."

"Not having a parent in your life is tough." Lucia tentatively patted my shoulder.

"I have my mother. She's always been there for me." I brushed her hand off. I had my Grandfather too but he's gone now. "And I'll be meeting my father this evening so wipe that look of pity off your face."

Lucia's smile lessoned a little. "You're nervous about meeting your father? Is that the real reason you're out for a moonlight walk?"

I scoffed, covering my shock at her astute guess. "He's just a man. I have no reason to b nervous."

"Sure, sure." She sarcastically agreed, not believing my words. "He's only the man that helped give you life. And is undeniably someone that you'll spend your entire life trying to impress. You have absolutely nothing to be worried about Dame."

The venom in her voice irritated me but also made me think she wasn't just referring to me.

"Mother told me it's impolite to hit a girl unless it's a life or death situation." My blue eyes pierced her lighter ones. "You're making me reconsider that teaching."

Lucia giggled at the threat. "Normally I'd be up for a fight but my parents told me not to ruin my dress or I'd suffer the consequences. You're not worth the trouble.

I shot up, determined to teach this girl a lesson in respecting her superiors."I think it's the other way around. Someone as weak looking as you wouldn't be much of a challenge."

"Don't let this cute face fool you little Dame." Lucia stood as well, standing nose to nose with me. "I'll kick your ass."

"Don't call me that." I hissed. We were both riled up, ready to fight.

"Damian!" A shout broke my intense stare down with Lucia.

"Damian I've been looking all over for you." My Mother glided over to my side. I relaxed my posture as she neared.

"Mother I apologize, I lost track of time." I respectfully dipped my head in deference to her. She ran her hands through my hair and smiled kindly.

"I can understand why your walk lasted so long." Mother coyly smirked, eyeing Lucia and then me. "And what is your name child?"

"My name is Lucia, Miss." She smiled and dipped into another extravagant curtsey.

"Such a polite girl." Mother chuckled. "You may call me Talia, Lucia…Unfortunately, Damian and I have a prior engagement we must see to. I'll have to steal him away from you."

"Not a problem. I should return to the party." Lucia turned to me. "It was nice talking to you Damian."

Mother nudged me when I snorted at Lucia's pleasantries. A chilly stare from her prompted me to give a more formal response. "Till next we meet Lucia."

Lucia covered her laugh with a final bow before she took off.

Mother sighed. "My love, your social skills shall have to be worked on."

"I doubt I'll be encountering anyone else my age for some time." I refuted.

Etiquette classes were always a bore to me. What use were those lessons when I would one day rule the League of Assassins? I was born to be a conqueror not a gentleman.

Mother hummed and guided me back to the boat. I took a seat at the table while Mother rummaged through my bag, making sure everything I needed was there. I felt anger coursing through my system at the reminder that I was being left behind and unable to avenge Grandfather's death.

"Why can I not stay with you Mother? Surely I'd be more help to you than any of the league members." I protested. She stopped fixing my things and sternly gazed at me.

"I have already explained this to you Damian. You are safer with your Father than me while Deathstroke hunts down the Al Ghuls." I frowned from her chastisement. She moved to comfort me but the sound of someone entering the other room caught her attention. "Wait here while I explain the situation to your Father."

I remained sitting as Mother entered the adjoining room. Curiosity overtook me and I stood, walking over to the curtain separating the rooms to listen to my parents conversation.

"Now this man wants to kill us." I heard the sound of Mother's heels coming closer to my position. She must have realized I was listening in on them.

"Us?" A deeper voice asked.

"Not you. Me and your son." Mother pulled the curtain up, revealing my silhouette.

"Son?" Disbelief dripped from my Father's voice. I stepped forward into the room. "You expect me to believe this?"

Mother ran her fingers through my hair before gently pushing me forward. "I assure you, he's yours."

I stopped in front of the man I'd been told stories of since I was born. My eyes swept over the Dark Knight's suit and internally I imagined that underneath that cowl I'd find a man with an older version of my face. The only feature I'd inherited from my mother was her blue eyes, everything else I assumed came from Bruce Wayne.

"Don't look so stunned Father. I thought you'd be taller." I taunted him. He was too stunned to respond.

My Father was quiet as Mother told him she needed to leave me in his care for some time. He didn't deny the request and gave Mother and I a few moments to say goodbye.

"Be strong my son, you are an Al Ghul. And I will return for you my love, I swear it." Mother embraced me and then whispered her love for me in our mother tongue. I echoed back her words and allowed myself a moment of immaturity by holding on to her.

This is the beginning of a new journey for me.


	6. Chapter 6

xxxxxxx

Harley Quinn

xxxxxxx

"I've been waiting for you all night. Step out of the shadows, I won't bite." The creepy voice beckoned us from behind the pillars.

I looked at my fellow squad members to see their reactions to the witch's offer. They all looked petrified by what was taking place.

Aw, what the hell? I don't have anything to lose by talking to the witch.

I marched past Flag but Deadshot grabbed me, preventing me from approaching the altar. Shot shoved me next to Flag and forcibly lowered my gun. I pouted at his scaredy-cat actions.

"Why are you here? Because the soldier led you? And all for Waller? Why do you serve those who cage you? I'm your ally and I know what you want. Exactly what you want." The witch's haunting voice seemed like a lullaby.

Suddenly, I was lulled into a trance and my vision blurred.

"Mama! Papa said you can't sleep in." A childish voice whined above me.

Groggily, I opened my eyes and saw my beautiful daughter leaning on her elbows, watching me with a mischievous smile. I smiled back and pushed her blonde hair out of her face. The diamond on my wedding ring matched her bright blue eyes. My little Lucia Napier was a carbon copy of me when I was her age.

"I'm up Puddin Pop." I rolled out of bed and threw on a jogging suit over my nightdress. I'd take the rollers off later. "Where's your brother, Lucy?"

Lucy and Jay were as thick as thieves. They loved barging into the room in the morning and jumping on the bed to wake me and Jack up. It was cute the first few times when they were little. Now it's more painful when they jump on us. Thankfully, they didn't use that tactic today.

"He's downstairs with Papa. And they're eating all the waffles." Lucy puffed her face up, no doubt blaming me for her not getting first dibs at her father's cooking. Even though said cooking was simply frozen food heated up instead of food made from scratch by me.

Lucy is such a Daddy's girl.

"Well we better hurry before the boys eat everything."

"Princess Lucia wishes to be carried." She held her arms out for me to pick her up. I chuckled at her proclamation. All those Disney movies were really going to her head.

"As the princess commands." I obeyed her with a serious face and was rewarded with her adorable smile as I carried her downstairs.

My Puddin Pop was every bit a princess to me.

I entered the kitchen and heard music softly playing in the background. Jay was eating at the table but abandoned his food to run up to me for a hug.

If Lucy was a Daddy's girl then Jay was Mama's boy.

"Hi Mom!" Was the enthusiastic greeting I received, along with a hug.

"Hello to you too Puddin Pie." I messed up his brown hair affectionately. He rolled his dark blues eyes at the tangled mess I created.

"You better not have eaten all the waffles you dummy!" Lucy yelled at her older brother after I set her down. Jay's happy expression soured into a mocking grin.

"First come, first serve, stupid!" He jeered back with his tongue sticking out. Lucy mimicked him and stuck her tongue out. The kids then began a shouting match over which them was dumber.

I sighed. Jay and Lucy were an odd pair of siblings. One minute they could be perfect little angels that loved playing games. Then another minute they could be little hellions that fought relentlessly. Their fickle mood swings set off alarms in my psychiatric mind. The doctor in me sometimes wanted to have a child psychiatrist examine the kids for mental illnesses but then the mother would win out and write off the behavior as normal. Jack didn't want any head doctors examining the kids either. With our combined crappy childhoods any doctor was sure to tally that into their folders and decide that the kids needed more stable adult figures. Jack and I might not have had good childhoods but we were damned sure that our kids were going to have good ones.

"Alright you two, that's enough. Go sit down and finish eating." I scolded them. They stopped arguing, looking mildly ashamed for their behavior. Jay was the first to apologize and then return to the table. Lucy pouted for good measure and then apologized, following her brother's example and sitting at the table.

I could hear snickering coming from the living room. Jack must have heard the whole thing while he was going over his gimmicks for the day.

Sadistic jerk. For some reason he found Jay and Lucy's bickering absolutely hilarious. I guess he saw the sibling rivalry in them that he never had growing up as an only child. I on the other hand, got easily fed up with it. My younger brother and I used to fight over idiotic things all the time and we kinda still do. I have no desire to see that repeating in my house.

"Mama can we go to the park today?" Lucy asked with a hopeful smile and arms outstretched for me.

Really, she was getting too big for all this but I wanted to savor this childish habit of hers for as long as possible. I'm already unable to pick Jay up anymore. Soon I won't be able to pick Lucy up.

"Lucy wants to see her boyfriend. What's his name again? Dylan? Damon?" Jay teased his little sister. "No wait! She calls him Dame!"

"Since when did you get a boyfriend?" I looked up from the dishwasher after hitting the "normal" setting. Lucy's face was flushed wither with fury or embarrassment.

"He's not my boyfriend! He's my prince dummy!" Her angry expression became a satisfied smile. "You're jealous because you don't have a princess. The girl's would rather giggle at you then play with a dummy like you."

Jay's reply was drowned out by Jack dramatically entering the kitchen. "What's this I hear about a boyfriend?"

I laughed at his abnormally serious face. His brown hair was neatly brushed back and his blue eyes flickered from Lucy to Jay. Jack Napier was anything but serious. The man was a professional comedian and I could see through his act. The kids however, thought he was being serious and fidgeted under his gaze.

"Nothing Papa. Nothing at all." Lucy innocently fluttered her eyes at Jack. His face switched from serious to giddy.

"That's right Pumpkin. You don't any boys in your life except me and Jay." He planted a smacking kiss on Lucy's nose before turning to me. "And that goes for you too Harls."

"I've only got eyes for you Puddin." I said without hesitation. Jack leaned forward to kiss me.

"Ugh. There's too much kissing in this family." Jay groaned. Jack chuckled form his son's protests.

"I disagree. I don't think there's enough kiddo." Jack swooped in and planted a big kiss on of Jay's head.

"Dad!" Jay complained despite the small smile on his face. They both looked so much alike with their silly smiles.

"Hey champ." Jack mock-whispered, leaning closer to Jay's ear. "It's your job to keep any and all boys away from your mother and sister while I'm gone. Can you do that Jay?"

"Leave it to me Dad." He whispered back.

"Aren't you going to be late Jack?" I butted in. There's no telling what kind of prank Jack might convince Jay to do on any males that interacted with me or Lucy. I can't count the number of times Floyd has complained to me about Jay pranking him whenever he stopped to talk to me at the park. Lucy will certainly have a hard time getting a boyfriend in the future with these overprotective clowns hovering over her.

"You're right." Jack muttered, adjusting his purple suit. His wedding band caught the light and shined brightly. "What's for dinner tonight Harley? I can pick some wine up on the way home."

"I'll make your favorite potato knishes." I replied. "Good luck today Puddin."

"I don't need luck Pooh. Not when I've got you and the kids." Jack gave me a passing kiss as he grabbed his suitcase. The kids shouted their goodbyes as he left for work.

I swooned happily. What a great life.

"I can't change what I did and neither can you." A pained shout invaded my mind, shattering the spell I was under.

I blinked. Diablo's tattooed face hovered in from of me.

"He married me." I muttered wistfully.

"It's not real." Diablo said with heavy eyes.

"I killed the bat." Deadshot refuted his claim.

Diablo shook his head. "You don't want that."

"What?" I objected. "I want that."

I wanted that future so badly. Puddin gave me everything I could ever want; power, clarity, freedom, love, and children. But I lost everything that was important to me. I lost my baby Jay before he was even born. I lost Mistah J and Lucy in a plane crash. I want them back and I want that future.

"She's trying to play games with you man. It's not real!" Diablo insisted, denying us all the joy of what we were shown in the visions.

"He's right. It's not real." Flag hoarsely agreed, fighting back his emotions.

Party poopers! Why did they have to spoil this me? Why couldn't they just let me have this? Even if it was a lie, I still wanted it. I want my Puddin and two babies back!

"How long have you been able to see?" The witch's voice broke my train of thought. Her machine glowed ominously behind her.

"My whole life." Diablo stepped towards the witch. "You can't have them. These are my people right here."

Hearing those words from Diablo brought tears to my eyes but I held them in. This was not the time for tears. These boys would need Harley Quinn in tip-top fighting shape.

"But it is our time. The sun is setting and the magic rises. The metahumans are a sign of change!"

"Lady you are evil!" Deadshot pointed at her.

The witch sneered and said something in another language. A giant behemoth stopped forward. My body trembled in fear and excitement.

Holy crap, he's huge! This is gonna be one hell of a fight! Watch me Puddin, I'm gonna kill'em both!


	7. Chapter 7

I've had a change of heart for the casting of the Al Ghuls. I'm going with the idea that Talia and Damian are from the Middle East and have recast them.

Talia Al Ghul- Moran Atias

Damian Wayne- Fady Elsayed

xxxxxxx

Damian Wayne

xxxxxxx

"Why do I always find you singing?" I stepped up behind her.

Lucia jumped at the sound of my voice. She whipped around with a sly smile. My jaw clenched as I got that usual fluttery feeling in my gut. This wretched girl made me sick.

"Maybe I'm a siren leading you to your demise."

"You're nowhere near as captivating as a siren, clown." I scoffed.

If Lucia weren't dressed in such gaudy clothes I might be more inclined to view her as appealing. Her shorts and t-shirt were clothes suited for peasants. Why is she always wearing such revealing clothing anyway? Isn't she cold? Her coat must provide little warmth. Were we in my home country, Lucia's apparel would cause a scandal.

"I love that you're so snarky with me but I gotta admit, I'd prefer a bit more tenderness and less snark, Dame." She winked at me.

"How many times must I tell you not to call me that?!" I growled and in a flash my sword was out.

Force appeared to be the only language Lucia spoke. I was more than happy to speak that language. Fighting her didn't confuse me like talking with her did.

Lucia sighed. "You're the only teenage boy I know that responds to a pretty girl's come-ons with violence."

That disappointed look of hers bothered me. I lunged at her, nearly slicing her jacket. I wasn't in the mood to with the uneasy feelings this girl evoked in me. Out of all the criminals I dealt with, Lucia confounded me like no other. I didn't understand it!

"Stop running and fight!" I angrily pointed my blade at her. She stood still, staring indifferently at me.

"What is wrong with you?!"

Could she see the root of my frustration?

"I'm really not feeling this Damian. Can we call a truce for tonight?" She fluttered her eyes. That sick sensation hit me and some of my tension slightly diminished. "Pretty please? I promise I'll be on my best behavior for one night."

"I doubt that." I taunted her. What she considered good behavior still meant trouble for Gotham.

Lucia pouted but then lit up. I stiffened in response to her sinister smile.

"Let's make a deal boy-wonder."

"What kind of deal?" In this instance I felt like I was making an actual deal with the devil.

Her smile stretched, mirroring a cheshire cat's as she skipped around me. "I, Lucia Jay Quinn, promise not to cause havoc for one night if Damian Wayne takes me on a date."

Lucia's request shocked me enough that I almost dropped my sword. She giggled at my startled display.

"Cease your ridiculous cackling!" I hissed, swinging the blade at her. The strike lacked my typical finesse and Lucia dodged the attack.

"Do we have a deal or not?" Lucia pressed, pulling a small bomb out of her coat pocket and dangling it over the railing."Or I could terrorize the citizens all night. Your choice, honey."

Father would be severely disappointed if I allowed harm to come to Gotham's citizens over something as petty as this. I must put aside my pride to follow his teachings. Damn this conniving girl!

"Stop." I deeply sighed and cheated my sword. "Ill play your game, clown."

"Don't make it sound like it was such a difficult choice to make. You know you love spending time with me."

I wanted to wipe that smirk off her face. If she weren't a female her disrespect would be beaten out of her. Lucia is lucky Mother instilled in me the virtue of being a gentleman to woman. This girl would not do well in Nanda Parbat.

"Should I be flattered or disturbed that you're so obsessed with me that you'd hold a city hostage to court me?" I rhetorically asked.

Lucia's uncomfortable obsession with me has been going on for years but recently she's gotten bolder about it. The way she speaks and looks at me is entirely unsettling. All our interactions leave me frustrated with an irregular heartbeat and nauseous stomach. I need to curb her interest. I don't want her consumed with me like the Joker is with my Father.

"Very flattered. I don't give anyone else this kind of attention." Lucia answered and then looked me up and down. The scrutiny of my Robin uniform made me cross my arms in defiance. "You are going to change right?"

I looked down my nose at her. Her eyebrow twitched.

"I believe I said Damian Wayne had to take me out so lose the getup or I'll go shoot up a store."

"Insufferable wench." I whipped around and jumped off the roof. The cape slowed my descent and I landed softly. I looked up and saw Lucia scaling down the escape stairs. I pushed the button on my gauntlet for the bike. The vehicle wasn't far and came around the corner, stopping in front of me as Lucia arrived. "Get on clown. We need to get away from the city." I hopped on the bike.

Better to have the psychotic girl far away from the city while distracted her.

"Aww, you do have a romantic bone in you." She teased, poking my cheek.

"Will you just stop talking?" I swatted her hand away. Lucia mimicked zipping her mouth shut and got on the bike, wrapping her arms around my waist and leaning into my back. I went rigid from her touch. My spine tingled. "What am I getting myself into?" I muttered and took off.

I zipped past traffic, weaving in and out of the way of cars. Lucia madly laughed and yelled from the erratic driving style. I smirked. Of course a wild girl like her would enjoy a fast ride. I shared her enthusiasm. Father gifting me this bike was a fortunate occasion. Riding a motorcycle was a good replacement for riding a horse…I did miss riding with Grandfather and Mother. Those were pleasant memories.

"Yeah, that was fun!" Lucia squealed as the vehicle came to a stop in the forest. I hopped off the bike and looked at the female clown.

"We're alone now and safely away from the city. You can take off the getup, Damian."

My lips curled into a frown. She just wouldn't quit. Slowly, my hand reached up and removed the mask. Lucia whistled. I felt exposed without the mask.

"Happy?"

"Not yet. You still have to take off the uniform too." She calmly twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

"Fine. Leave so I may change." I order while hitting a button on the backpack of the bike. Lucia obeyed, sliding off the vehicle and walking further into the forest.

What I am doing is absolute madness. I didn't expect to be courted by a psychotic girl when I went out on my nightly patrol. Beating down criminals was how I wanted to spend my night. Leave it to the Clown Princess to ruin that, the spoiled brat. Oh Mother, give me the strength not to kill this girl.

"Well hello handsome. You look so much better outside that monkey suit." She winked.

I had changed from the Robin uniform into slacks and a sweater. The informal clothes were all I had after Father confiscated my robes. His actions resulted in the two of us having a heated argument.

"Let's get this over with." I complained. Lucia snickered.

"Stop playing hard-to-get, you love the attention." She grabbed my hand and yanked me forward before I could reply.

Even though it started as her pulling me toward the amusement park, it turned into a race between the two of us to see who could get there first. The distance between the forest and the park would have been a heavy workout for a normal person but for myself and the clown it was a light sprint.

"You're a detestable cheat." I snarled.

Lucia threw explosives at my feet to throw me off. The underhanded tactic was the reason for her victory.

Lucia shrugged unrepentantly. "I'm a bad girl, what do you expect?"

"Miserable clown."

"Aw, you're pouting. You're such a sore loser." She poked my side. I slapped her hand away. "A very sore loser indeed."

My arm automatically swung out to strike her but she spun out of the way. She laughed, running through the amusement park without a care in the world. I chased after her, flinging curses in Arabic the whole time. Lucia stopped in front of the power switch for the park and flipped it. The park came to life.

"Welcome to Pleasure Island!" Lucia struck an odd pose in front of me.

"Why would you call an amusement park 'Pleasure Island'? That sounds inappropriate."

Her pose faltered and she stared incredulously at me.

"I was referencing Pinocchio."

"What do pine seeds have to do with this?"

Lucia struck another odd pose. "I wanna be a real boy!"

"Why would you want to be a boy? You are a girl correct?" I rubbed my forehead, exasperated.

"You poor creature. What kind of life have you known?" Lucia shook her head and ran her hand over my arm.

I exhaled deeply, brushing her offending appendage off. Why did she have to continuously touch me?

"I have no idea what you're going on about."

"Let's ride the rollercoaster!" Lucia abruptly took my hand and dragged me to the rides. We rode the rollercoaster in shifts since one of us had to operate the machine. Lucia rode far more times than I did. Next were the teacups and then the hall of mirrors. Lastly, we settled into a carriage on the merry-go-round.

"Aren't you cold?" I reiterated, glancing at the pale, bare legs stretched out in the carriage. The amount of skin Lucia was exposing and her proximity made me acutely aware of her every movement. I was tempted to pick her coat up and cover her with it.

"Nope." Lucia smiled and leaned closer. "Unless you wanted to warm me up by holding me?"

"Not a chance. Forget I said anything."

As sick as Lucia made me, I could acknowledge that she possessed womanly attributes and those attributes were being shamelessly displayed…I will not succumb to lust, especially not for this wench.

"Oh c'mon, be a gentleman and hold me." She scooted closer, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Keep away from me, clown!" I shoved her face back but she pushed against me. We both grunted from the effort of trying to overpower the other.

"You're my date for the night so act like it!"

"I don't have to be a gentleman for someone that forced me onto a date!"

"Acting like my boyfriend is the least you can do after your father locked mine up!"

I froze. She pushed harder and ended up sprawled in my lap. Her arms latched around me and she pressed her face into my neck. I was hyper aware of the body pressed flush against me. Shivers raced up my spine and my blood pumped faster. This blasted girl! How can this body lust after her when she makes me ill?!

"Is this your idea of vengeance then?" I said, restraining myself from touching her and enflaming the arousal in my lower region. I would not succumb to temptation. I am above such things.

Lucia responded by holding on tighter. The carousel's music filled the silence.

"What an odd girl you are." I said softly. For whatever reason Lucia never took vengeance on me like either of her parents might. The Joker and Harley Quinn repay every transgression with blood. Why did Lucia not follow this pattern? This would be her best chance for revenge, I have no armor and minimal weapons.

"I can't take my anger out on you. You're my jester prince."

Another shiver hit me from Lucia's whisper on my neck. I could smell her candy-flavored shampoo and was enticed to bury my nose in her hair. My body was reacting to strongly to her. Goddam it!

"I'm not your prince!" I yanked the femme-fatale off. My fingers dug painfully into her arms. "I'm your jailer. You're a criminal that needs to be locked up for good."

Lucia hummed, not bothered by my words or grip. In fact, she looked contemplative.

"Today you might not be my prince but someday you will be. And when you come to me willingly, I'll welcome you with open arms and a kiss." Lucia's smile was a deadly promise.

"That will never happen." I retorted on instinct. There was no possibility of Lucia and I being anything but enemies. She is the epitome of everything I was raised to destroy.

"Yes it will. And you know why?" Lucia said with certainty, reaching up to caress my cheek. I blamed the arousal for me leaning into her touch. "Because you don't have to change for me. You're already perfect in every way, Damian Wayne."

I was rendered speechless by her words and could only gaze at her as seeing her for the first time. No one had ever said something like that to me. Grandfather and Mother pushed for me to be a leader. Father pushed for me to be a defender of the innocent. All their desires required me to be more than Damian and yet this girl found me to be perfect.

Why? Why is she like this?! I don't understand! Lucia is my enemy…she can't be anything else!

"So…can I get your number?" Lucia joked, leaning back from me. My body involuntarily moved forward to reestablish the connection before I realized what I was doing and scooted back from the clown.

"Unbelievable." I hissed, wanting to get away from her.

"Is that a maybe?"

I rolled my eyes and leapt out of the carriage. Lucia followed me with a pout.

"Are you satisfied? Am I free to leave without worrying about you shooting up a store?" I glared at the sky, disregarding Lucia's disappointed frown.

She tapped her foot in thought. "Yeah you can go, after you give me a lift back into town."

"Of course. I seem to always be chauffeuring you around." I agreed sarcastically.

"That's what a prince does for his princess. I'm glad you're finally catching on." She replied with equal sass.

"You truly are the most delusional girl I've ever met."

So delusional that she captured others in her delusions. This 'date' was a terrible idea. I won't be able to get her out of my mind for the rest of the night…I can't indulge in her fantasies. We live separate lives that will never overlap. We will never be anything more than enemies…never.


	8. Chapter 8

xxxxxxx

Harley

xxxxxxx

"Puddin?" I hesitantly poked my head into Mistah J's office. He was on the phone with Frost. A mild glare was sent my way as I silently skipped over to the desk, admiring the plans for a future heist until Mistah J finished his call.

Batsy wouldn't like this surprise, lots of dummies were going to go boom. Serves that asshole right. He…

"What do you want Harley? Daddy is busy." Mistah J growled, sharp eyes promising a beating if I wasted his time. He's been so stressed and angry, even after we punished that baby bird for the papa bird's sins.

"I gotta tell ya something important, Puddin." My secretive smile caught his attention. He played along with my game, waving me over.

"Come sit on Daddy's lap and tell him." I eagerly took my place on his lap, practically bouncing in excitement. Mistah J was going to love my news. "Harls, if you don't sit still, I'll bend you over this desk."

"I'd like that, Puddin." I purred, leaning in to kiss those red lips of his. Right as our lips were about to meet, a wave of nausea hit me and I pulled back, covering my mouth.

"Now, now, Pooh. Don't be a tease, finish what you started." Mistah J's fingers dug painfully into my hips. Those mercury eyes had gone back to being dangerous.

"I want to Puddin, I really do!" I hurriedly assured him before he lost his temper. Mistah J hated being denied anything. "I just suddenly got sick."

"Sick?" He parroted, sneering. "Why would you be sick? Did you eat some weird shit again?"

I pouted. Mistah J had been picking on me for odd meals and constant appetite. As much as he is a criminal mastermind, Mistah J is still a silly man with no knowledge of womanly matters.

"I did have some pickles and mustard but that's not why I'm sick." Mistah J blankly stared at me, digging his fingers further into my hips. "I'm sick cause I'm carrying your baby, Puddin." I squealed, pulling the pregnancy test out of my pocket and proudly displaying it for him to see.

Teehee

I bet he's so excited! We're gonna have another baby! A mini Joker or a mini Harlequin. Our baby's going to be the greatest wonder of Gotham. If it's a girl, I'll name her Lucy, after that old black and white show I used to watch on that ratty tv. I Love Lucy!

Teehee

It's perfect…unless it's a boy.

"You're pregnant?!" Mistah J roared, springing out of his seat and causing me to fall to the ground. "You dumb whore. How could you let this happen?"

I froze at his simmering anger. This version of anger was worse than his violent one. After a few bruises and broken furniture, Mistah J would cool down, but when he's calm, he thinks up worse punishments.

"I-It was an accident, Puddin, but it's a happy accident, ain't it?" I stayed on the floor, watching him furiously pace.

"How the hell is this supposed to be a 'happy accident'? Did you forget what happened to the last one?" Mistah J yanked me by the pigtail. "You let Bats kill the last one and I had to get back at him for it!"

I whimpered from the tugging and the reminder of my dead baby. Batman killed my poor Jay Junior! My baby didn't even get the chance to take his first breath. Didn't get to sleep in that beautiful nursery Mistah J prepared. Didn't get to see his parents smiling down at him. Batman took something precious form me!

"What makes you think it'll be any different this time around? Normal doesn't apply to us. That thing in your stomach will have a target on its back from the day it's born." Mistah J harshly informed me, indifferent to my sobbing. He scoffed in disgust and shoved me away. "Get rid of it. I don't repeat failed gimmicks." "P-Puddin." I cried. This was the grief talking. He was still hurt over the loss of Jay. I reached for Mistah J, but he ignored me, moving to leave the office. Before he could leave, I latched on to his legs, nearly making him trip. "Puddin, don't make me give up the baby!"

"Harley, let go!" Mistah J's ring-covered fist landed on my head. I continued to plead and beg even as Mistah J's hit became fiercer and fiercer. "Shut up! I don't need another whipped dog pinning after me and seeking natural things from me like you do. I'm the Joker, I don't do normal."

I struggled to breathe with Mistah J's hands wrapped around my neck.

"Any child of yours will be special. They'll take over and carry on your legacy." I wheezed out. Mistah J's grip slackened enough for me to breathe. "Don't you want that Mistah J? Someone to carry on the title of King or Queen of Crime and cause mayhem for Batman and his Robins?"

Mistah J twisted his neck and growled in thought. The grip on my neck disappeared and he leaned in, staring at me for any hint of a lie.

"You're suggesting an heir? Not some tyke to play pretend with?" Mistah hummed, sitting up. Slowly, that psychotic smile he was known for, emerged on his face. "An heir to take over my kingdom…that's an intriguing joke to play on the world."

I smiled, happy that he came around to the idea of the baby. I couldn't bear to get rid of the life inside me, but I'd do it for Mistah J. I just would be very sad for a long time.

"The best joke, Puddin."

Mistah J patted my cheek and rose up, arms stretched out and a crazed gleam in his eyes. "I've started a joke, which started the whole world crying." He cackled.

I stood up at his beckoning.

"So I get to keep the baby, right?"

"Yes, yes, Pooh." Mistah J hushed me, dragging his knuckle over my cheek while the other hand rested on my stomach where the little baby was developing. "You take care of the little monster. No screw ups this time. You're on the straight and narrow till that tyke pops out of ya, understand?"

I happily nodded along, placing my hands over Mistah J's on my stomach. "I won't let anything happen to your heir, Puddin. I'll be a good Mommy this time, I swear."

"This calls for a celebration. I should go wreck havoc in the city." Mistah J whipped out his phone, rapidly texting someone. "Not for you though, you're on maternity leave." He added.

"You'll bring me back a souvenir, won't you? Maybe an eyeball or something." I batted my eyes seductively. Being stuck in the house alone would get super boring, super fast. At least a few toys would entertain me.

"An eyeball, huh? I haven't done a good'ol eye gouging in forever…there are some punks that owe me money. Daddy'll bring you a jar full of eyeballs, how's that sound, Harls?"

"Sounds good!"

"Now…let's pick up where we left off." Mistah J neatly put away all the documents on the desk and tossed his blazer off to the side. Unconsciously, my eye twitched. It drove me nuts seeing clothes thrown about the house. I snapped out of my thoughts when Mistah J slammed his hand on the desk. "Get on the desk, Harley. I still have to punish you for riling me up."

My heart thumped wildly in anticipation. Lustful to angry. Angry to excited. Excited to Lustful. Mistah J is a whirlwind of emotions and I never know which one I'll be dealing with.

Teehee

I love that uncertainty, it's as exhilarating as a drug.

xxxxxxx

"I'll kill that stupid Bats!" I screamed, stomping my foot that I couldn't see. At nine months I couldn't recognize my body. "Putting my Puddin in Arkham when I'm freaking pregnant! My baby needs her Daddy!"

Mistah J lounged on the living room couch in his sweats, idly flicking through channels. Frost had finally busted him out of Arkham after three months. His absence drove me up the wall. I was terrified that Mistah J would miss his daughter's birth. Frost was forced to work double time due to my hysteria.

"Be quiet, Harley. Your yammering is giving me a headache." Mistah J growled. Compared to me, he was treating his imprisonment with indifference. His attitude was pissing me off.

"I won't!" I ignored the venomous scowl he sent me as I stood in front of him and knocked the remote out of his hand. "You were gone for three months. What if I gave birth while you were imprisoned?! You're gonna be a father now, you gotta be more careful with Batman." I ranted.

Mistah J flew up, seizing my hair in his fists. "Keep mouthing off to me, doll. A drill is gonna pierce your skull."

"Do it! A drill would probably be less painful than childbirth." I taunted, grinning like a maniac. The shooting pain in my abdomen was egging me on.

"Don't push me, Harley. Your life is as meaningless to me as the other dogs that follow me. That thing in your stomach doesn't make you special."

I punched him in the chest. "It's a baby, not a thing!"

Mistah J growled, lunging for me but my hysterical cry stopped him. Liquid gushed out, dripping down my legs and soaking my dress.

"What the hell?" He stood over me, confused. I howled from the rapid contractions.

"I'm in labor!" I screeched. Mistah J's hand twitched, probably with the intention of smacking me, but instead he reached for my arm and tugged me up, commanding me to walk. It took some time for us to reach the bedroom since I was a sobbing mess and had to frequently stop due to the contractions.

"Quit you're wailing, Frost is bringing the doctor." Mistah J propped some more pillows behind my head before roughly fixing my sweaty hair into a bun.

"P-Puddin, the contractions are coming fast. She wants out, now." I gasped as another one hit me.

Goddam it, this hurts! Why is having a baby so freaking painful?!

"No pushing, Harley. You have to wait for the doctor." Mistah J leisurely walked into the bathroom.

Why is he being so mean to me? I'm his lady and the mother of his child. He's supposed to be holding my hand and whispering comforting words in my ear. I'm giving birth to his heir for crying out loud!

"You know that's not going to happen. Didn't you hear him? The Joker doesn't do 'normal'. When will you learn, Harley?"

I laughed deliriously at the sight of Dr. Harleen examining me.

Teehee

If it isn't the my old friend. She hasn't spoken to me since I found out I was pregnant for the second time.

"It's in your best interest to take that baby far away from this madness. Contact Pamela, she'll help you and the baby." Harleen glanced worriedly between my stomach and my eyes. A snort was the only response I could give her. The contractions were unbearable. "Don't be delusional, use that brain of yours. That child is going to grow up in a horribly abusive environment. This little girl has no chance if you stay."

"Puddin!" I screamed. I need him, he's the only one that can make the voices go away. Mistah J is the only thing that makes sense anymore. Without him there's no Harley Quinn.

Another scream almost passed my lips but Mistah J appeared with some towels in hand. Harleen had vanished. Without warning, he slapped one of the towels across my face and wiped the sweat off. His aggression was retaliation for all the noise I was making after he told me to shut up. Not wanting to anger him further, I bit down on my lip and breathed through the pain.

It seemed like hours had gone by when a knock on the door interrupted the pattern of my labored breaths and Mistah J's rough swipes on my forehead. Frost entered with the doctor, who immediately got to work on me. With the doctor finally here my mind focused on bringing the little monster trying to rip me in two, into this world.

This is pure agony! I'm never having another baby after this!

A shrill cry awakened me from my stupor. Tears gathered in my eyes as I saw the doctor gently cradling a fussy, red baby.

Teehee

That's my baby, my Lucy. Just like her Daddy, she comes out with a bang. I already love her even after she tore up my most precious treasure.

"Mr. J, Ms. Quinn, you two have a healthy daughter." The doctor had finished cleaning Lucy and swaddled her in a blanket. The normally apathetic doctor looked almost pleased with the new life in his arms. He was used to operating on bloody wounds, not birthing newborns. This must have been a breath of fresh air for him.

"Let me hold her." I insisted, weakly holding out my arms, desperate to smell that newborn scent babies were known for.

The doctor hesitated. "Ms. Quinn, you lost a lot of blood. I wouldn't recommend that course of action."

"I don't give a crap, doc! I wanna hold Lucy!" If I could have, I would have clawed off his face. How dare he disobey me!

"Just let her do it. I've had enough of her screaming for the day." Mistah J slumped onto the dresser, massaging his forehead. He looked disheveled and tired. There were also many cuts and scratches on his arms from all the times I grabbed onto him. Mistah J would flip if anyone from his crew saw him looking so weak.

"Yes, Mr. J." The doctor grudgingly handed me Lucy and then started listing off the things I would need to do in order to get my health back up and things about the baby. All the information went in one ear and out the other.

I stared at Lucy's cherub face, amazed that something so doll-like came from Mistah J and I. She looked like an angel but I'd bet money that she'd turn out to be a devil.

"Harely."

I smiled at Mistah J. He'd given me something beautiful. After Jay, I didn't think I'd get another shot at being a Mommy. Oh Mistah J, my Puddin. I'll always be grateful for him giving me my Lucy. My wonderful Puddin and Puddin Pop.

"Aw! Puddin, isn't she just the cutest little thing?" I squealed, caught up in the euphoria. Lucy wiggled her arms, reaching for my chin.

"She looks normal." Puddin looked at Lucy in disgust. She squirmed in my arms and I rocked her. Lucy doesn't look normal compared to us. Her skin is tan and she has blonde curls. Well the blonde is more like platinum, that's a kinda odd for a child. Must be the chemicals.

"She's a baby, that's how she's supposed to look. Puddin, look! She's trying to open her eyes." I held Lucy out for him to see.

I hope she has Puddin's eyes then he won't feel so put-out that she didn't inherit any clown features.

"Oh." I drawled out. "She has your eyes Mistah J. You're such a pretty little baby, aren't you?" I continued cooing in a voice that was soothing for babies.

"This kid better not get in the way, Harley." Puddin reminded me. He wanted an heir, not a plaything for pretending. My arms tightened around Lucy.

"Of course not, Puddin. Lucy is going to be our perfect little monster." I lifted her high in the air and smiled at Lucy. She scrunched her face, prepared to cry and I quickly placed her back on my chest, right over my heartbeat. I began softly singing. "Hush little baby, don't say a word. Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring."

I felt Puddin collapse on the bed next to me, ready for a nap.

"And if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass. And if that looking glass is broke, Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat."

Lucy had quieted down and was on the verge of closing her eyes with her fist tucked into her mouth.

"And if that billy goat won't pull. Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull. And if that cart and bull turn over, Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover."

Tear trickled down my eyes. I would have sung this for Jay too. He would have been laying on the bed too, curious about his little sister. Maybe a little jealous that he wasn't the baby anymore but he'd eventually get over it and step up as the big brother.

"And if that dog named Rover won't bark, Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart. And if that horse and cart fall down, You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town."

I kissed Lucy's cheeks, forehead and fists.

"So hush little baby, don't you cry. Daddy loves you and so do I."

My little baby, my Lucia Jay Quinn. Mommy loves you so, so much.


End file.
